Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Why Every Great Corporation Needs Interns

Interns are a necessary evil in every successful corporation. Internships provide a win-win situation for everyone involved. Not only does your company save money by not having to pay them, but you also get someone, usually a college student, to take the job - and even if they gain little to no experience at all, they are just excited for the opportunity.

These students have not been out in the real world yet, so they do not realize that their job is so pointless and their worth within the company is so undervalued and unappreciated that they could have a kindergartner managing the phones. These students possess a youthful vigor and optimistic outlook on life you do not find in the college graduates after just one year of work in an office environment. Students still believe what they do matters and that every possible ounce of work they have while in college is going to prepare them for when they do have a real job. It doesn't even come close.

Here are some of the main differences you will find between the Pre-Graduate and the Post...

College Student:
-Willing to do anything for the good of the company
-Great coffee and snack getter
-Listens to your thoughts and plans, then actually puts them into action
-Reads every email you send and replies
-Doesn't care what they are paid, which normally ranges from little to nothing
-Hopes for a job at Genericorp when they do graduate

Post-Graduate Cog:
-Does as little work as possible by online shopping or chatting on IM with other co-workers within the office
-Would rather make 200 copies and staple them by hand than get a Grande double shot latte with skim milk at the local Starbucks
-Ignores you completely, smiles politely at your racist jokes and then promptly purchases that cute, cheap swimsuit from that is going to look fabulous on the beach in September (let's face it, Florida is cheaper in the fall)
-Has your email automatically set to be received in their trash bin
-Scrutinizes every paycheck and checks for errors, has most of their checks already spoken for because most of their little to no money goes to
-Prays for a new job… any job

But like I always say, to appreciate the workers you have, you have to have the Interns. After awhile, the interns chirpy nature and willful persistence can become grating on your nerves and you'll find yourself hoping that they will graduate to finally understand what working for a corporation really is…

Bitch work.

Emily Houston
Corporate Hag
Mindless Media
A Genericorp Company

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