Thursday, April 17, 2008

Business Management 101: The Cliff Notes

PhotobucketI was recently flying Northwest Airlines this past March, and had the opportunity to pick up my complimentary copy of Skymall Magazine. It was filled with the usual junk poor people dream up to hopefully "get rich quick," with gadgets that included an upside-down tomato garden, a voice activated R2D2 of your very own, and women's gravity defeyer shoes.

Seriously? Who's buying this crap?
Poor people.

However, one particluar article really jumped out at me. It featured two full pages of precious advertising space, and was called GetAbstract Biz Book Summaries. This particular service includes reading over 4000 of the best selling managerial and executive business books out there. Each month, GetAbstract will update their library with books they deem worthy of reading, or rather "summarizing." In theory, they are offering you more time to think of ways to cheat your employees out of their hard earned salaries and less time wasted on reading full length books to better your business.

They will cover such classics as:
1. Freakonomics The book that sheds light on the hidden side of everything.
2. Rich Dad, Poor Dad: What the Rich Teach Their Kids About
Money--That The Poor and Middle Class Do Not
This title needs no
3. Every title by Jim Cramer
4. How to Win Friends and Influence People this book has been around
so long my father read it to me in the womb. It didn't help.
5. The South Beach Diet You may be wondering why that's thrown in
there. Well whether you know it or not in order to get ahead you must
look like replicas of Barbie and Ken to get ahead.

For more information on any of these books, click on the link below:
Amazon's 10 Most Popular Business Books

But if you want my opinion, which I'm positive you do, these aren't the only tools that are helpful to get your corporation on the same level as Trump or Microsoft. Instead of wasting all of that time and money and ending up having to read all of those boring summaries, you could already have Tivoed and watched Glengerry Glenn Ross, The ultimate guide to running that well oiled machine, better known as Genericorp. And with all of that extra time on your hands, you can think of more efficient ways to torture and belittle your staff.

For more information on this and other crap that just makes us lazier

Are you an employee or Executive Assitant to one of these morons?
Click here:

Emily Houston
Corporate Hag
Mindless Media
A Genecorp Company

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