Genericorp like to reward the dedication and loyalty of its employees. Once you have been with the company for several years (of your mid-twenties that are now gone) you can look forward to extra vacation days and a salary increase. If you have been on a good track financially, you will be able to splurge once the money rolls in…In the future you can:
· Find out what it means when people say “I’m going away for the weekend”
· Own a car and an apartment at the same time
· Find out what an HD TV is, and then get one
· Finally pay off that trip to Europe you took 3 years ago (and possibly go back)
· Be one of those people that grabs the check at dinner and says “It’s on me”
· Buy the new Portishead album instead of waiting for the leak to hit your illegal downloading site of choice
· Supply refreshments at your own party instead of still instructing guests to “BYOB”
· Relieve the unnecessary stress of scouring your room at the end of the month for things to sell on Craigslist
· No longer curse at your local Coinstar for rejecting a quarter and 2 pennies
· Complete half-finished dental work
· Have dinner and a movie in the same night
· Have a pedicure at a salon that does not double as a peep show/crackhouse/daycare center/fish market
· Purchase unmolested cans of Spaghetti-Os
· Vacation at the Cape during the summer months
· Purchase personalized stationary, which will enable to you stop telling people “Sheridan” is your middle name
· Remove your alias from the Meals on Wheels delivery list
· Stop racing the bar bus boys to the half finished beers
· Throw away your home-sewn manila envelope and Styrofoam cup blanket
· Cancel the monthly screenings for “canned tuna induced” mercury poisoning
· Evict the environmental science graduate students that are renting out your deck
Sensitivity Trainer & Corporate Cog
Mindless Media
A Genericorp Company
Stephanie Block
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