Thursday, March 26, 2009

Pizza + Economics= Love of Poor People

"The students Jeb Harrison teaches in his economics classes at Pocatello High School in Idaho have learned one thing for sure about these hard times: for $5 you can get a 14-inch pizza with one topping at Molto Caldo Pizzeria, just down the street."

Teaching Economics and Pizza Equations

Thursday, March 19, 2009

F*** My Life

"Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don't have a text messaging plan. I paid $0.25 to get fired. FML"

The Work Pyramid

Replace this entire chart with just "time wasting," and you've got a day in the life of a Genericorp employee.


Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Top 10 Reasons Why Poor People Like St. Patrick's Day

Now that the financial stresses of the holidays are safely behind us and we have 9 months before we have to start re-gifting our kitchen appliances, we have time to enjoy the 1st of the year’s holidays that is centered around a simple hedonistic pleasures.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day! Have a beer!

And who knows how to party better than poor people? That's right, rich people. At any rate, here are the top 10 reasons why poor people like St. Patrick's day (not including ones as obvious as dressing your dog in green plastic leis and sunglasses and putting him on a little cart with an Irish flag on it - Duh).

10) Half finished discarded beer bottles
9) Face-paint
8) Non-judgment for being drunk at work all day
7) Getting use out of that one green shirt you keep pulling out of the Salvation Army pile because you "can wear it on St. Pattys"
6) The noise of the parade drowns out your screams
5) Watching your boss get a fine for public urination
4) The green food coloring that distracts your boss from the arsenic in his cream cheese
3) Next day discount on day-old soda bread/green crap at CVS
2) Stumbling into work at noon hungover the next day, and getting away with it.
1) No need to shower at all. On St. Patrick’s Day, everyone’s Irish!

-MM Sensitivity Trainer & Corporate Cog

Friday, March 13, 2009

Poor People Like Harassment

Poor people love being harassed. That's why God invented telemarketers.

Not only are poor people being hounded to pay their late electric bill and the overdue balance on their H&M card, but now unknown companies with no purpose are calling me asking for money.

This number has called me 8 times since I woke up today: 201-918-4971.

According to 800Notes, there is a way to put yourself on the "Do Not Call List" by simply calling back and pressing 2. I, of course, did this, got a call back within 10 minutes, and was probably subsequently added to 500 other calling lists. Luckily, I found this handy guide to tormenting a telemarketer, but It doesn't hold a candle to the Seinfeld method.

One site even had a comment saying that they answered the phone when this number called and got an automated message encouraging them to pay a $1.97 fee and to enter their debit card number. That's where things are at right now. People are calling my phone to ask for $2.

Not in this economy! That's a whole slice of pizza in most towns.

Elizabeth Stolfi
Corporate Cog
Mindless Media
A Genericorp Company