Thursday, March 6, 2008

Why Poor People Are Funny: A Corporate Survivor Speaks Out

Poor people are born with what is known as a “sense of humor.” They tend to think their sarcasm and wit makes them more likable in the work environment. They believe that by confidently asserting their own independent nature to all projects, that they are creating a more unique product. This is not so. Your own ideas are not to be brought to any project within the corporation. They are severely rejected and your only option for redemption is to apologize and admit your own insecurity and instability.

Some of the below information may be disturbing to read. We have pulled the below quotes directly from The Rich Person’s Handbook:

“Humor is also a way of wasting time. Some ignorant studies that have supposedly been thoroughly researched are incorrect. Laughter has no place in a person’s work. It does not make morale higher or make anyone more energetic. Laughter is a waste of time, and frankly it just sounds like screeching nonsense. Poor people are always trying to come up with new ways to do as little work as possible; this is one of the worst problems we as managers face. To abolish laughter altogether would be ideal. However, we see that a poor person’s intelligence is to be questioned and that they would never be able to grasp the concept.”
-John D. Rockefeller of Standard Oil

“A sense of a humor in a poor person is very suspicious indeed. Be careful to listen for their sarcastic, bitter remarks on the institution. Often you will find a Dilbert calendar hanging in their cubicle or a mug full of coffee stains that states how bored they are with life. Beware of their seemingly witty banner. They are trying to draw you into their own web of deceit and pathetic helplessness. Do not stoop to their level.”
-Donald Trump of Trump Industries

“Furthermore, when you find yourself in the above situation, try your best to not make direct eye contact; But make sure to mutter under your breath inappropriate remarks. You can often times get away with a sarcastic remark of your own about their work ethic or lack there of. Most times, it is lack thereof.”
-Martha Stewart of Martha Stewart Living

As you can tell from the above quotations, your supervisor, also known as a rich person, does not trust you. Does not care about you. Does not even like you. They want you to do your job and keep your personality to yourself. Do not assert your own originality, because it will not be welcomed or acknowledged. You are brought in and paid the lowest amount to do the most mundane of jobs. You are to eat, sleep and breathe that job. Work is no place for friendship or respect.

The office is your life. Your life is the office.

My advice to all of you cogs in the wheel; Get out. Get out now.

Emily Houston
Corporate Survivor
Mindless Media
A Genericorp Company

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