Thursday, July 9, 2009

Poor People Like Covering for their Boss

Every time a bigwig goes down (ehem… Sarah Palin… ehem) we know it’s because some cubicle dweller in her office finally got tired of covering her ass. It’s the first rule in any corporation (which goes three-fold for politics) -- cover your ass. Whether it’s hiding a paper trail or making excuses for the company being unable to afford coffee, it’s always the lowest level that gets blamed. Luckily, we love it. We thrive on the game of misdirection. It’s the reason most poor people cheat and steal for fun. We love lying! We assume that this experience, plus a few viewings of the CEO’s Glengarry Glen Ross bit, is the same as studying for an MBA; an MBA a better company would have paid for you to get.

So, next time your boss asks you to make up a reason why his weekend in Puerto Rico is on his expense report, or put together a letter to all employees explaining why everyone will have to provide their own toilet paper, draw from some of the best excuses we’ve heard at PPLP.

5. She stepped out for coffee, I expect her back mid-August.
4. She’s on a non-smoking cigarette break.
3. Why? Don’t you live with your parents?
2. What do you mean you can’t live in NYC on 25K a year, the cost of living only went up 2%!
1. We already provided pizza!

Sensitivity Trainer
Mindless Media
A Genericorp Company

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