Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Poor People Like New Beginnings

Poor People's Guide to the first 100 days in office.
(Not Barack—you! Barack has his advisors and you have us.)

First 100 days in a new office:

1. Scour local restaurants for a $3 Margarita /$2 Pizza Slice
2. Reinforce the fold down changing table in the ladies room for mid-day naps
3. Question IT about the vigilance of Internet tracking/email surveillance in company
4. Steal scissors/tape dispenser/stapler from spare desk
5. Plan out best time to use company Xerox machine/Fax machine for personal use
6. Stash extra sage green paper/FedEx envelopes/paper plates for personal use
7. Figure out what company does… (delivers the industry’s most comprehensive, end-to-end optimization and migration solutions through its patent-pending, business-aware, heterogeneous software platform. Whaaa???)
8. Engage in the battle for control of the thermostat
9. Calculate most efficient path past boss' desk undetected, when arriving late/leaving early/taking a non-smoking cigarette break
10. Assess snack machine vitals: Where it is, what's in it, and when it gets re-stocked


1 comment:

Diane Schubach said...

Some of these overlap for when you're leaving the job...