Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Hope You Had Fun on Your Vacation, But You Have Swine Flu

PPLP would like to relay this important information to our readers...

"Subject: Hope you had fun on your vacation

The management at Mindless media would like to send out some important information to its employees who have recently vacationed in any area where swine flu has been spreading. Your 10 working days of vacation time are essential to our compliance with company policy, and we hope you enjoyed those few precious days out of the office. However, we would like to make sure you do not infect your co-workers with swine flu.

As your employer, we would like to warn you of the following symptoms of swine flu:

Aching fingers: You may think this is connected to the dozens of excel sheets you've been putting together for the past year, or possibly even a symptom of carpal tunnel, but it is actually swine flu
Itchy eyes: Though there was no spring in the metro area and it went from being 40 to 80 degrees within a week, this is not allergies. You have swine flu.
Stomach aches: If you had any bacon from the Europa on the corner within the last month, you have swine flu.
Headaches: That pounding headache you have nearly 24 hours a day is not from being over-worked and under-paid, it's from swine flu.
A tan: If you have a tan from your recent vacation to Mexico, you have swine flu.

On behalf of all upper management, we'd like to say welcome back to the office! Hope you had fun on your vacation, but you have swine flu.

Oh… you’re insurance doesn’t cover swine flu.

Genericorp Human Resources Management Department"

Mindless Media
A Genericorp Company

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